I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Randomize
