So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
