You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Randomize
