Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I didn't notice because vodka
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Randomize
