Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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