i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
