I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
