I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
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