she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Randomize
