I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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