Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
