Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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