Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
