Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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