Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Buhtt sex?
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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