I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
