I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
