We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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