Redeem this text for a blowjob
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
