I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
