I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize