I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize