it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
