It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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