about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
