In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
