I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
