Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I don't deserve a penis
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Randomize
