Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
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