Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
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