Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
