Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Randomize
