She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
