is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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