i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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