can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
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