I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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