During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
