belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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