All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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