Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Randomize
