successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
