had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
