used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
