think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Randomize
