Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
