bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Randomize