i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
