so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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