I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
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