never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
