i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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