You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
