I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
i love accidental penises.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Randomize
