Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
