I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
