the condom got lost in my hair
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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