i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
A+ Viking dick
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
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