Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
