Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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