I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
it was like his penis was on wheels.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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