We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
