Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
