she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Randomize
