OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
