One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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