I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
