I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
last night I used snow as a chaser
Randomize
