One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
he high fived his dick after we had sex
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize