my phone needs a breathalizer
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
